Accepting Loses!

Ecclesiastes 3:4-5

Whether a loved one dies, a marriage fails, a friendship ends, or a business dealing goes south, as Christians, we should grieve with hope, leaning on Jesus. You may not feel like it, but if you have faith in Jesus, you are resilient. God is your Father, and he has a good plan for your future.

Do not let the enemy lie to you. You can find comfort during grief, but how much comfort you want is up to you. You are not the first person to experience loss, nor will you be the last. Pity parties get you nowhere, and they tell the enemy that you have more faith in him than in what God can do for you.

Don’t let the enemy score two points by making you miserable! Use this opportunity to draw near to God and let Him minister to your heart.

Your life may look very different, but God is faithful and will see you through. Only God could take a widow and turn her into a minister. God Almighty knows the pain of watching a loved one die a death that they didn’t deserve. Just like His son, Jesus, rose from the dead after three days, I believe God can take your ashes and give you beauty.

Not only “can” God do it, but I believe that God longs to.

Ecclesiastes 3:4-5, A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; Jesus understood the pain of losing someone close to His heart.

John 11:1–44, we learn that Jesus lost a loved one named Lazarus. Jesus was deeply moved and wept at the loss of His friend. However, this doesn’t end in tears. Jesus knew He possessed the power to raise Lazarus from the dead.

Jesus said in the same passage.

John 11:25-26, Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

It is comforting to know that death is not the end for those who believe in Christ. Those who know Jesus as Saviour will have eternal life.

John 10:28, And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.

God has prepared a new home for us where there will be no more death, tears, or pain.

Revelation 21:1–4, Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. 2 Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of

God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. 4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

The knowledge that our loved one is in heaven brings comfort. But we still experience the pain of their absence. It is all right to grieve the loss of your loved one. Jesus wept over the death of Lazarus, even knowing He would bring Lazarus back to life.

Grieve! It’s good and right to grieve. We grieve genuinely and unapologetically. Death is tragic. Death is sorrowful. God does not despise our emotions or our questions.

1 Peter 5:7, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

We can cast our burdens on Him and trust in His love to provide us reassurance and comfort.

How do you grieve?

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. 15 For this we say to you by the

word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. 16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore comfort one another with these words.

It is good to grieve, and this text gives us permission to do so. While it’s always important to ask “what does a text say?” it’s equally important to ask, “what does a text not say?” In this verse Paul could have said something like, “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve.”

He could have ended his sentence there are forbidden all grief. He could have been a good Stoic and insisted that Christians must not waste their time and emotional energy in crying. But no, he doesn’t say that. He doesn’t tell us we must not grieve at all.

Rather, he tells us we must not grieve in a certain way.

There is a way that Christians must grieve. Grieve hopefully. When Paul says, “you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” he is really saying something like, “we grieve, but not in the same way as all those other people who have no hope.”

Or, “even though we do grieve, we grieve differently from those other hopeless people.” Again, we see there’s a distinctly Christian way to express grief. We must not grieve like unbelievers do.

What is this Christian form of grieving? Christians experience grief but without despair, sorrow but without defeat, sadness but without hopelessness. It’s true sorrow and true hope. These things don’t cancel out one another.

We feel the great weight of sorrow and the great thrill of hope. In moments of deep sadness, we feel both.

But why?

How is it that we can have hope? The reason we have hope is that Christians grieve temporarily.

We grieve genuinely but hopefully because we grieve temporarily. Our grief will come to an end. Paul proves this by pointing back in time, then pointing forward: “For since we believe that [in the past] Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will [in the future] bring with him those who have fallen asleep” (1 Thessalonians 4:14).

Paul anchors future hope in past reality. He first points back in time to the historical events of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Jesus truly died and truly returned to life and his resurrection is a promise, a proof, and a down payment that we, too, will return to life.

What happened to him will happen to us. If it wasn’t for Jesus, we would have no hope! But Jesus rose so we have the greatest hope! Paul points forward. “For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.”

He goes from the past to the future. He points forward to the time when Christ will return.

He points forward to the time when the great promise will be fulfilled. At that time those who are dead and those who are alive will be reunited. They will be united to Jesus and live together forever. Here is how the passage continues: “The dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.”

Our hope for the future is that we will be with the Lord. We will be with the Lord together forever. Those who have gone before and those who remain will be reunited in the presence of Jesus Christ. While our loved ones have left us, they have not ceased to be.

They’ve simply gone on ahead. Because Jesus rose again, they will rise again. Because Jesus conquered death, they will conquer death. Because Jesus lives, they live. So, we grieve. We grieve in times of loss and our grief may last many days, or weeks. The pain is real, the sorrow is real, so the grief is real.

But we grieve hopefully because we are convinced, we grieve temporarily. No wonder, then, Paul concludes in this way: “Therefore encourage one another with these words.” As part of the healing process, we can remember the many good things about our lost loved ones and rejoice in the fact that we were able to share in their lives.

We can share stories about the impact our lost loved ones have had on our lives. We might find it comforting to do some of the things our lost loved ones particularly enjoyed or to spend time reminiscing about our lost loved ones with others.

We can also honour their memory by living our lives in a way that brings honor and glory to God. God is ultimately the source of our comfort.

2 Corinthians 7:6, Nevertheless God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus,

It is good to remember our lost loved ones and to honour their influence in our lives, but we are not to pray to them or seek to communicate with them in any way.

Instead, we bring our prayers to God and ask Him for comfort and healing. God is the father of mercies, and He will comfort us in all our tribulations.

2 Corinthians 1:3–4, Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. Be assured that God loves you and that He understands how much you are hurting. Run to the shelter of the Most High where you will find sweet rest.

Psalm 91:1–2, He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”